When keeping it real goes…accordingly

There comes a time when you have to start taking your own advice.

I have always sort of made myself the counselor for all my friends.  Partially, because I view myself as a good listener, also because I have been through some pretty heinous things in my life so I have some experience under my belt to help back up said advice.  Of course, I give this advice because I genuinely give a shit and want my friends to be happy.  But I also give it because it deters me from thinking too deeply about my own bullshit and hypocrisy.

It is so hard for me to see the deepest faults in myself.  I am not saying this out of some egomaniacal corner of my brain; I just have a lot of trouble being honest with myself.  I don’t even know if half of it would be considered faults so much so as it is just being human.  I am not a perfect person, nor have I ever claimed to be (not without irony at least).  I have declared 2010 my new year without bullshit.  Not just saying, “I don’t give a fuck”.  I do give a fuck.  In fact, I give too many fucks.  Enough so that I have sacrificed my true self to hold on to things in my life that no longer move me forward.  No longer make me happy.   Things (and people) that just keep me comfortable and stagnant.  I don’t want to stop caring all together.  I just want to care for the right reasons and completely real with myself (keepin it 1-hundred).  I don’t want to take myself too seriously either.


4 thoughts on “When keeping it real goes…accordingly

  1. I like this keeping it real thing. It’s good for you. It’s good for everyone. Honesty is hard, especially when it concerns yourself, and I think you should be completely and totally proud. I am proud of you — and not in a condescending way. In an I-love-you,-my-friend way.

  2. cherry valance says:

    I did the same thing with Lucy (screaming). I felt awful, especially since I’m practicing the whole attachment parenting thing. I started to second guess myself, but I think every mother has been there. The lack of sleep is really awful.

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